Family matters

Help parents to see how the principles on which you care for their children at nursery can be applied at home, as Lena Engel explains.

Parents are said to be 'children's first educators'. This means that they exert the most educational impact during the initial years of a child's life. Children inherit family characteristics and they also copy and internalise what their parents do and say. Nevertheless, the weight of responsibility of parenthood is daunting for many adults, particularly for those who do not have extended or close families to support them.

Parents who feel insecure about their knowledge of child development will often seek reassurance, guidance and advice from childcare practitioners in daycare and from childminders. The Birth to Three Matters framework emphasises the importance of seeing the whole child and understanding how each aspect of development impacts on every other. Childcare practitioners should explain this valuable guidance to parents and inform them about how the environment and the social interaction they offer effectively supports their children.

Use clear and helpful communication
Childcare practitioners should treat all parents equally and yet differently according to their individual needs. Some parents demonstrate considerable knowledge and understanding in caring for their children, while others seem more fearful and seek guidance. Parents who are more self-assured are usually in tune with their babies and children, so their offspring are likely to be more confident and sociable, whereas the babies of less assured parents are more likely to lack self esteem.

It is essential that childcare practitioners should observe parent-child interaction as well as evaluate the way in which parents respond to adult carers. Making observations of this kind is not easy and demands a certain level of understanding and maturity. This is why it is so important to have a good mix of young and mature staff to care for babies and toddlers. Younger, recently trained staff members should learn from their older colleagues how to empathise with parents and to communicate successfully with them.

To promote good practice when working with parents:

• Have an open door policy that welcomes parents to view the nursery when it suits them and their children. Parents are more positive about childcare when they feel that you have not presented a special show for them.
• Provide time for parents to tell you about their child when they first enrol.
• Ensure that you adopt an interested and engaging manner, explaining that you need to make short notes so that you can recall the conversation to share with your colleagues.
• Explain how you encourage children's all-round development by using the Birth to Three Matters framework to guide the programme Ensure that you emphasise the way it contributes to positive outcomes for children.
• Describe the way you celebrate children's achievements and record their progress.

Deal with parents' day-to-day concerns
Parents want to hear about what their children have been doing. It is helpful to write comments in an exercise book that goes home every day. Encourage parents to add their own comments about what their children do with them in these books.

• Emphasise the importance of children learning from the process of play, and discourage parents from seeking only tangible outcomes such as paintings or collages.
• Explain how daily routines enable children to gain essential life skills. Tell them that from the earliest stages that they should support babies to do things for themselves, such as feed themselves with finger foods, fetch nappies and collect their socks and shoes.
• Encourage parents to value the acquisition of these skills and make useful suggestions about how they can practise them at home. Support parents to understand how babies and toddlers are always copying the adults who care for them. It is flattering for parents to hear how much they influence their children's development.

Emphasise the importance of speaking, listening and enjoying stories
Parents should see you communicating and interacting with their babies as soon as they arrive. When you show interest in their children, it makes parents feel proud and positive about themselves. Watching you engage successfully with their children will enable parents to use similar techniques at home:

• Use engaging eye contact and open-ended questioning, giving the babies or toddlers time to listen and respond in whatever way they can.
• Let parents know about the songs and rhymes you sing with their children. Singing them at home will be great fun and should encourage them to spend time together. Print simple homemade song books for parents and suggest that they look for songs to bring for you and the children.
• Tell parents about the stories you have shared with their babies and toddlers and describe the children's interest and excitement in them.
• Provide parents with information about local libraries and start a collection of children's books that you can lend every day. Taking books home to read to their babies and toddlers encourages parents to develop intimate and rewarding relationships with their offspring. Children who enjoy stories from the first few months of life develop early language and communication skills and lively imaginations.
• 'Baby signing' has been gaining in popularity as a means of encouraging young children to develop physical communication long before they are able to put words and sentences together. Baby signing could help limit young children's moments of frustration and tantrums. You could suggest to parents that they might want to find out more about this method of interaction and how it can help young children to express their needs.

Support positive behaviour
Parents like to know how you cope when their children are angry or upset. Sharing effective methods to promote good behaviour will ensure that children are treated consistently both at home and with their childcare practitioners. Use your knowledge of child development to explain how your expectations of the children influence the way you respond to them. This will enable parents to practise the same methods at home.

Point out to parents how you:

• Always speak to children at their physical level, bending or kneeling to talk to them face to face.
• Show respect for children by listening to them and giving them the time to respond to you.
• Prepare children well in advance when you want them to do something, so they know what to expect and have time to think about it.
• Give babies and toddlers a sense of independence by encouraging them to make simple choices. For example, do they want to put their coats on first, or their gloves? Children feel less frustrated and are more compliant when they are able to make decisions. This is a technique that most parents will find invaluable.
• Deal with children calmly when they shout or lose their temper and emphasise how you expect them to behave. Comment on the task and avoid drawing attention to the character or personality of an individual child.
• Make tasks and objectives achievable so that children gain praise and develop confidence from what they succeed in doing.
• Deflect aggressive behaviour by removing unruly children and leading them to a new context where they can have space and time to calm down.
• Tell and read stories that feature children behaving well and playing happily with friends and family.

Promote play, rest and good food
Practitioners should stress to parents the importance of making sure that children have sufficient sleep during the day and night, and that they eat small and frequent nutritious meals. Good daily routines and plenty of exercise keep young children purposefully occupied, happy and healthy, which makes the job of being a parent and a childcare practitioner so much more agreeable and rewarding.

(Nursery World, 30.03.06)