Literacy news

The role of grandparents in family life

1 Oct 2008

Parenting practices have changed over the generations but the one thing that has remained constant is the importance of talking, listening and playing with children. Grandparents are ideally placed to spend quality time interacting with children as most are free from the responsibility and stresses of parenting.

In a recent Yours survey seventy percent of respondents said that being a grandparent was better than being a parent because of the time they had to enjoy their grandchildren, without the financial responsibility.

Talk To Your Baby has looked into the increasingly important role that grandparents play in British families, and the impact they have on family communication and children's social development. Please read our report below. References are listed at the end.

Grandparents are central to family life in the UK. Three-quarters of them are involved in their grandchildren's lives and contribute to their upbringing. This is largely due to the fact that more mothers work and the high cost of childcare.

Grandparents and childcare

The Daycare Trust states that seventy percent of employed women with dependent children use informal childcare by friends, neighbours or family for all or part of their childcare.

Each week a quarter of families with children under-15 use a grandparent to provide childcare (around 1,740,000 families). Where grandparents provide childcare they do so for an average of 15.9 hours per week. Most grandparents childmind without payment. The Daycare Trust estimates that the value of this informal service is over £1 billion a year.

A Scottish Executive survey suggests that affordability is the key reason why parents arrange for their children to be looked after by grandparents. But the survey also reveals that the issue of trust is a more important reason for parents to select grandparents as childminders, followed closely by their wish to have a childminder who will be affectionate towards their children.

In the last few years grandparents have attracted growing interest from UK researchers, perhaps partly because the government has acknowledged the valuable role that grandparents play in supporting parents and children and providing lasting stability. Grandparents who wish to be paid for looking after children can now be registered as childminders and get support and training in their role as a professional child carer.

Parenting classes aimed at grandparents are becoming more common. The Glasgow Southern General Hospital runs antenatal classes for grandparents to teach them the importance of breastfeeding, as a lot of grannies used to bottle feed. Other topics include cot-death prevention, car safety and how to spot post-natal depression in a new mum. The monthly classes are well attended.

But understandably, not all grandparents are willing and enthusiastic childminders. There is evidence to suggest that grandparents, particularly those with a partner who is unwell, find the childcare role difficult. Many find it hard to say no because they have an emotional investment in their families. They are aware of the high cost of childcare, but they are taking on children at a time when they are ready to take it easy.

The Daycare Trust believes that the availability of grandparents and other informal carers is likely to decrease as families live at greater distances from each other due to careers, divorce or separation, and as more grandparents continue to work.

The modern grandparent

Today’s grandmother is a modern woman. She is likely to be a career woman, and if not, busy with a myriad of chosen activities.10 This is hardly surprising given that the average age of grandparents in the UK is 54.

The 21st Century Gran Survey for Yours magazine found that the 21st century granny - a character composed from 2,000 replies - is as far from the traditional scone-making biddy with a steel grey hairbun as any image-maker could contrive. Feeling, on average, 21 years younger than her actual age, the modern grandmother is adept at picking up modern technology - mobile phones and computers are a must. Half of all respondents had recently been to a theme park, 15% said they always try out new roller-coasters and 7% like to go skinny-dipping. A fifth said they have an alcoholic drink every day, 94% like dressing up regularly for a night out, and half are on the lookout for love.

As fathers have assumed new roles, grandfathers also have new images. They are aware that being a nurturing man is considered a positive virtue, and take the time to be affectionate and loving. A retired grandfather expressed the sentiment of many when he said, "When my children were growing up I was so busy making a living I had very little time for them. Now my biggest joy is being with my grandchildren. Maybe I'm trying to make up for what I didn't do before."

A study by the Newcastle Family Studies Centre concluded that grandparents are viewed by grandchildren as fun companions nowadays, rather than the authoritarian figures of the past. Many children confide in their grandparents if they have problems.

Grandparents and family communication

Research by the Newcastle Family Studies Centre suggests that interpersonal communication is fundamentally important to a successful ageing process. The grandparents in this study said repeatedly that what mattered to them was being able to chat to someone ("anyone who'll listen") about anything and everything - the ordinary, everyday things. It was clear that many of these grandparents were the ones who maintained the family networks, who made it their business to keep in touch.

An important part of staying in touch and keeping up with the family news and gossip is day-to-day chit-chat. Participants in the Newcastle study described chatting as an essential part of family life. Most grandparents seemed happy to talk both about trivia and about more serious topics such as money and sex. Although some (mainly grandfathers) appeared to be more comfortable when they were reminiscing about the past, the majority were well able to talk about 'modern' things with their children and grandchildren.

More than one in five teenagers had talked to a grandparent about personal problems - a higher proportion than had talked to parents, teachers or siblings about such problems. Grandparents, particularly grandmothers, are frequently used as confidantes. They represent a listening ear for grandchildren, as they are often intensely interested in hearing about their activities and concerns.

Grandparents and child development

Spurred by the excitement of the birth of a new family member, grandparents tend to visit more often after the birth, and to help in taking care of the new family. A survey conducted by Cerlin and Furstenburg found that while 42 percent of grandparents interviewed said they enjoyed all ages of their grandchildren equally, among those grandparents indicating a preference, 24 percent "overwhelmingly favoured" 0 to 4-year-olds.

Studies of infants' behaviour with their mother and grandmother indicate that grandmothers can serve as attachment figures and can play an important role in the young child's social development. A grandparent is likely to love a child almost as much as the parent and, given the chance, a child will develop a close bond with the relative which will enrich both their lives.

Unlike many parents who are required to work long unsociable hours - leaving less time for their children - retired grandparents can give their grandchildren quality time. By playing, talking and listening to their young grandchildren, grandparents play a vital role in helping to develop their language and communication skills.

Grandparents are a tremendous resource for their grandchildren. They can share their past through stories and songs - an important step towards literacy - and help children discover their roots by sharing a native language or favourite family recipe.

British families are changing rapidly but grandparents are a constant source of support both to their own children and their grandchildren. They are often "the glue that helps to bind a family together."

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