Literacy news

Switch off the box

1 Mar 2006

This month's mission: Coping without toddler TV

The challenge

Can our mum entertain her toddler, without switching on the TV, for two whole weeks? Emma, 24, and Chris Eveleigh, 31, live in Suffolk with their 19-month-old daughter, Kyla. Emma works part-time as a secretary and Chris is in the army. Kyla watches three to four hours of TV a day and at weekends it's often more. So, can our expert help Emma change Kyla's viewing habits in just two weeks?

The expert's view

Liz Attenborough is manager of the Talk To Your Baby campaign at the National Literacy Trust: "TV is not a bad thing, but watching it too much is not good for a young child's development. Try to watch TV together sometimes, so that you can talk about it and share the experience together."

The action plan

1. Save your own TV-watching until after she's gone to bed. Try re-arranging the room layout, so that the TV is not the focal point, with toys, music and books taking centre stage instead.
2. You don't need to plan a programme of outdoor activities just to keep you away from the TV. A pre-school child's best toy is you. Equally, she needs to learn to play by herself, so that you can get on with your chores, so set her up with her own space full of her favourite toys to help her do that.
3. Listening to music and story tapes will enhance her listening skills. See if your local library has a story or rhyme-time session that you can join.
4. Use mealtimes to talk together as a family. Young children need lots of one-to-one interaction. Sitting down together is a great time to do this.
5. Invite friends and family with children of a similar age around. This will provide added stimuli for your tot, and give you the chance to pool play activities.
6. When you reintroduce TV, make a point of only switching it on for a particular programme or video that is appropriate for her age. Try to limit TV to no more than half an hour a day for the under-twos and an hour a day for three to five-year-olds.

Emma's diary

The Fimbles was the first programme Kyla watched; she really enjoyed it and it's just gone on from there. If I switch on the TV for her to watch, she sits quietly and I can get jobs done. Now Kyla's old enough to ask for the TV, I feel more pressure to have it on for longer. Television is the first thing Kyla asks for in the morning - she always watches it while she eats breakfast, while I rush around doing chores. The rest of the time we eat together in the kitchen with no TV, but turning it off often causes problems.

Kyla will watch more during the day if we're in, especially while I prepare her meals, and she always watches bedtime hour instead of reading a story. Weekends are worse still. Chris is a TV addict and if we're not going out, it gets left on all day. Kyla does play by herself, but when she makes a fuss about the TV, I give in because it's just easier. I'm determined to give the challenge a go, although I'm not expecting to give up TV altogether.

Week one

Day one As usual, Kyla woke up and asked for 'beebies'. I felt she was too young to explain why we were giving up TV for two weeks, so I told her it wasn't working. She tried to turn it on, had no luck, and threw herself on the floor. To make matters worse, she's unwell so she's super grumpy. To distract her I got out her play dough while I washed up - she made a big mess, but she actually played happily by herself and we chatted.

Then, as Liz suggested, I invited a friend round to play, which took her mind off things. We spent the afternoon at my mum's whose TV is also 'broken'! And I made sure mum had hidden all the videos.

Today was a struggle. Normally when Kyla's feeling under the weather, the TV would be on for most of the day. Chris and I are banned from TV, too, but Chris was out tonight and I felt so shattered that I cheated. I did feel bad though - if Kyla can go without it, so can we.

Day two I had to work today and I was worried how I'd cope in the morning - the TV is my saviour while I'm rushing around getting us ready. I left Kyla to eat her own breakfast rather than feeding her, which took longer and gave her less time to think about 'beebies'.

This evening was harder. I was so tired I felt tempted to turn on the TV but instead I got out some colouring books to help Kyla wind-down before bed. She seems to be responding positively. And we're now introducing a book before bed as part of her new routine, even if it doesn't always hold her attention.

Day three We had a really bad day today. Kyla found one of her videos this morning and wanted me to put it on. She was very insistent and stroppy. She's been really demanding and wants my attention constantly - I've had no 'me-time' at all and it's beginning to drive me mad. She just wouldn't play on her own, even though, as Liz suggested, I'd set up a play area for her with all her dolls and teddies in.

I did encourage her to help me with the washing and I've tried hard to get her involved in more constructive play. We've brought down some old Lego, so I've been sitting on the floor and building with her, which we've both enjoyed.

Rest of week one Friday night was especially hard for me and Chris. Usually after a really busy week, we unwind with fish and chips, a glass of wine and Emmerdale, and the challenge is making us realise how much we rely on the TV. We planned a busy weekend - shopping and visiting family - to avoid being at home too much, but even when we were, Kyla didn't demand the TV. We keep putting on her nursery rhyme CD and she loves it. Books are now part of her regular bedtime routine and she now seems to expect a story. Chris and I have felt a bit out of touch without the TV, but we've been listening to the radio a lot more, which has made a refreshing change.

Week two

Another busy week! We went to a toddler group and visited friends and I've made sure I've had time on my own with Kyla. I've been swapping her toys around every few days to keep her interested and spent quality time sitting on the floor with her, playing. I've also found out about a rhyme-time session at our local library. Unfortunately Kyla and I were the only ones there, so it was a bit quiet, but she still enjoyed it.

We've had one sticky moment and I blame Chris. He cheated while we were out and we came back to find the TV on. Kyla immediately asked for 'beebies' - it was the first time she'd wanted the telly in days. We immediately turned it off and I tried to distract her with a new CD I'd bought, but it didn't work, and it took a long while to convince her there was no 'beebies'!

On the whole, it's taking less time to distract her if she does whinge about TV, and she's asking for it less and less. I didn't expect things to change so quickly. It'll be nice to have the TV back, but things will be different from now on.

Week three

The TV is back and so far I've stuck to my guns and Kyla is watching considerably less. We started with CBeebies bedtime hour. She was very excited when we first put it on - it was as though she'd never seen it before. But she only watched half an hour then wanted her CD on, which I was really pleased about. I'm hoping to avoid TV altogether during the day from now on and just let her have it at bedtime before a story and bed. Surprisingly, it seems to be so far so good!

Emma's verdict

The challenge has been both tough and exhausting, but so worthwhile. I can't believe that in such a short space of time we've drastically cut down the amount of TV Kyla watches and managed to encourage her in other areas like reading, rhymes and creative play. The television had become an easy option and the challenge has pushed me to change things. I feel more able to limit what Kyla watches, we have more time for other things and TV has become a treat.

Expert verdict

Emma has done brilliantly. She's found other ways to stimulate Kyla and keep her attention, and Kyla has shown her how much she appreciates her mum's efforts. I am sure now that Emma can stick to her new regime, for Kyla's long-term benefit. Well done Emma!

(Mother and Baby Magazine, March 2006, www.motherandbabymagazine.com)

Tags: Talk To Your Baby

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