Literacy news

How can I...fix my toddler's TV addiction?

1 Aug 2009

The challenge
Lisa Richards, 27, lives in Surrey with her husband Robert, 28, and children Ava, 30 months, and three-month-old Leo. She's on maternity leave from her job as a buyer, while Robert is a youth worker. Ava is at nursery three half-days a week and, like many toddlers, likes watching TV. This gives Lisa a chance to do her chores but she admits the TV is often left on for up to five hours a day. Lisa wants to change Ava's viewing habits and encourage her to try new activities.

The expert
Liz Attenborough, manager of the Talk To Your Baby campaign at the National Literacy Trust, says, "Television is not a bad thing per se but, as Lisa has already recognised, it's not advisable for a toddler to watch too much because it's such a passive activity. Between birth to three years is a crucial time for every young child's development, so babies and toddlers need to be stimulated in ways that allow them to practise speaking and listening skills. These are vital for Ava in so many ways: emotionally and socially, as well as for her future learning."

The action plan

1. Go cold turkey. Try giving up television altogether for two weeks and see what difference it makes. If that seems too long, even just a few days will give you time to think of ways of entertaining your child and give her the chance to learn to amuse herself. Most importantly, it'll give you more time to talk.
2. Change your room around. Move the television so it doesn't dominate the room, and make sure the 'on' button or remote is out of your toddler's reach.
3. If you're not watching, switch it off. A television left on in the room, even when no one's watching, can be a distraction when you could otherwise be playing together. And save your own television viewing until your child has gone to bed.
4. Plan ahead. Think of different activities your toddler will enjoy when you're out of the house and others for when the weather keeps you indoors. Include one physically active session each day.
5. Make a play space. The best thing for your child's development is to play with an adult, or, second best, with someone her own age. Equally, she needs to learn to play by herself so you can get on with your chores, so set her up with her own special area.
6. Share a book. Reading together can be a calming experience to prepare for bedtime and is a good chance for young children to practise talking.
7. Reintroduce TV carefully. Make a point of selecting a programme or DVD that is appropriate for your child's age. Watch together so you can talk about it, switch off at the end and be ready to do something specific afterwards. Ideally, try to limit TV to half an hour a day for two year olds and under, and no more than an hour a day for three to five year olds.

Lisa's Diary
'I was always adamant Ava wouldn't watch too much television. However, I soon found myself using Ava's viewing times as a way to get jobs done or have a break. Then she learnt to switch the TV on herself. Now as soon as we get up it goes on and it's a battle to say no - and it's been even harder since having Leo. Ava's completely distracted by the TV: her eyes are glued to the screen. But I rarely turn it off because I don't want to cause a scene. She watches two to three hours in the morning, the same in the afternoon and another half an hour in the evening. It's really shocking to see it written down like this and I'm determined to do something about it.

WEEK ONE
"We've decided to give up TV for a full fortnight, as Liz suggested, and have told Ava the television's broken. She sighed when we told her but went off to play. I was surprised but relieved she took it so well. Luckily it was a weekend so Robert was around for moral support and Ava was kept busy visiting friends.

"It was harder when I was on my own during the week, though. Ava kept trying to turn on the television: I think she's testing whether we're telling the truth. I'm finding it tough. Ava has been clingier, following me around like a shadow, and the remote control is a great temptation.

"I've set up a play area and have been bringing down different toys from her room, many of which she rarely plays with. But without the television in the background I've already noticed a change in Ava's concentration span. I've also got her involved in the chores, as Liz advised. We've made pizzas together, dusted and even vacuumed. It's certainly been tiring because I've had to think harder about what we can do, but it's been far more fulfilling."

WEEK TWO
"We had our first tantrum this week. Ava came back from nursery exhausted and pleaded with me to have the television on. She threw herself screaming on the floor. I was tempted but managed to give her a cuddle and we read a book together instead as she slowly calmed down.

"What's amazed me is just how much her concentration is improving, almost daily. Ava used to flit from one activity to another and had little staying power. Gradually she's trying harder to complete something.

"We had plenty of fresh air again this week and lots of exercise - we met friends at the park. Ava's eating better, too. I hate to admit that she did usually have breakfast and often lunch in front of the TV. Now that she has no distractions, her appetite has improved and family meals are a good opportunity for conversation. Ava's always had a good vocabulary but we've noticed how much chattier she's become. This week, Ava has asked for the TV less and less. I had thought she relied on it for entertainment and relaxation but now I realise it was me who relied on it, not Ava."

WEEK THREE
"We've made it - two weeks without TV. Now we can switch on again. We told Ava Daddy had fixed the set and she was delighted. She watched In the Night Garden and, as Liz advised, I watched with her. Then we turned off and Ava quite happily came up to have her bath.

"Our new rule is no television on until after breakfast, which of course I should have done before. I'm now in control of Ava's TV viewing and we've reintroduced it in short spells so that it's no longer a distraction for any of us.

"I still sometimes get tempted to turn on to retain my sanity, but the challenge has encouraged me to find new ways of distracting Ava and her imaginative play has come on leaps and bounds. For example, while I'm cooking I give her bits of pasta and some pans to play with on the floor. It's a much more satisfying way of getting on with my jobs than thinking of her sitting by herself in front of the TV."

Lisa's Verdict
"The challenge has absolutely exceeded by expectations. I was expecting tantrums and tears from Ava but she took everything on board - I feel ashamed for doubting her. Taking away the TV has given Ava the chance to develop her creativity and learn to play by herself, as well as giving me more chances to interact with her. We're always chatting now and even the staff at nursery have commented on how talkative she's become. I can't recommend this approach enough."

Liz's Verdict
"Wow! Lisa and Ava have done brilliantly and Lisa has articulated the issues and benefits so well, for both mother and daughter. It's wonderful to hear about Ava's increased concentration and imaginative play as well as Lisa's own feelings of satisfaction and fulfilment. This was a tough task but it's clear now that the whole family will benefit from being in control of the television, rather than allowing the television to control them. Well done."

(Mother & Baby Magazine, August 2009)

Tags: Talk To Your Baby

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